The Akro-Wife
(as seen in the IAC Chapter 38 newsletter and Sport Aerobatics)
by Dale Lisa Flint
Freebird 300 Crew Chief

You might be an Akro-Wife ifÖ

* Your wedding day was specifically chosen so as to not interfere with any major contests.

* Your name is painted on the side of an airplane in which you have never flown.

* Youíve recorded for more contests than you can remember, but still canít foresee becoming a judge, because all those figures look pretty good to you.

* You have dogs instead of children.

* Youíve ever 'hung out' at the airport in the rain.

* Quality time consists of helping your husband change the oil.

* Your husband says things like "you can sleep under the wing of a plane, but you canít fly a house."

* Home improvement projects must be timed with annual inspections.

* You actually like going to the banquets, even if you havenít won anything.

* When friends ask about your husband's 'hobby', you just laugh.

* You are introduced at Chapter meetings as "Crew Chief."

* Fine art in your home means having the Pitts posters in picture frames.

* Youíve ever said, "nice spin, honey!" Ė and meant it.

* A Missing Man was flown at your wedding.

* While doing yard work on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, you scan every airplane flying overhead just in case itís your husband coming by to say hello.

* After seven years, you STILL canít tell the difference between a Half-Cuban and a Split-S.

* Youíve ever been forced to explain your husbandís absence from key family functions by explaining that, "itís a nice dayÖ"

* Your husband doesnít understand why you think even mild turbulence is kind of scary.

* Youíve become convinced that a $120,000 airplane is a downright steal.

* Youíve ever made Christmas ornaments out of your husbandís toy airplanes.

* Youíve spent hours baking in the hot sun, getting dirty and windblown, watching other people fly, listening to conversations in which you have nothing to contribute, and yet, all in all, youíve managed to enjoy yourself.

Last update: Tue 5/8/2001 12:30 PST
Please send her your questions or comments.